Questions

Bev does not know what that means.

Because slow feels smart. In 2011, Ryan Buell and Michael Norton described the labor illusion: people value a service more when they can see the effort behind it, even when the result is the same. Travel sites that showed their search working were rated higher than ones that returned instant results. Bev is that finding, with a cardigan.

No. Jev makes the decision in well under a second. Everything after that is theatre, written from a library of lines about coffee, printers, and Doreen. That is why every result tells you the actual thinking time.

Bev is exactly as accurate as Jev, because Bev is Jev. The minutes of reasoning add nothing except atmosphere.

Bev has been 97% confident since 1987. If you want the real number, it is right underneath: Jev's actual confidence.

It is sent to Jev to be classified, and the answer comes back. Nothing is stored and nothing is logged. Bev has a filing cabinet, but your ticket is not in it.

You can try. Each time adds 10 seconds. Bev does not appreciate being rushed.

Gary covers for Bev on Fridays. Gary takes about a third of the time and has seen worse.

No. Bev is an affectionate parody built on top of Jev. Bev just works here.